“- Sinead Mulligan: Now it can be revealed. I have very small breasts.
- Gerry Boyle: That's okay, I have a very small penis.”
Sarah Greene - Sinead Mulligan
Brendan Gleeson - Gerry Boyle

“I think it's kinda sexy that John Malkovich has a portal, y'know, sort of like, it's like, like he has a vagina. It's sort of vaginal, y'know, like he has a, he has a penis and a vagina. I mean, it's sort of like... Malkovich's... feminine side. I like that.”
Cameron Diaz - Lotte Schwartz

- Brian: God bless you.
- Larry Gigli: Thank you.
- Brian: No, not you, stupid. When my penis sneezes, I say "God bless you, penis".
Justin Bartha - Brian
Ben Affleck - Larry Gigli

“That's why these lesbians are always going out and buyin', spendin' all their dough on sexual appliances and erotic monkey wrenches and shit, tryin' to compensate for what they don't have... the penis.”
Ben Affleck - Larry Gigli

“After all, without sex, none of us would be born. And we are all born out of a woman's cunt. It is the center of the world. And the more we can do to glorify that holy spot, the more we're doing for mankind.”
Molly Parker - Florence