“- Marcy Tizard: Is being an idiot like being high all the time?
- Sean Kelly: No, it's like being constantly right.”
Janeane Garofalo - Marcy Tizard
David O'Hara - Sean Kelly

“You know what your problem is? Your problem is you're so full of piping hot crap the mention of your name draws flies.”

Jeffrey Wright - Belize

“- Buff: I've been making these tapes, you know, video tapes. I ripped off a camcorder up at the mall and I thought, you know, it could be something that I do, be a video artist, you know.
- Tim: Ladies and gentlemen, Buff, the postmodern idiot savant. He willl outdo us all.”
Steve Zahn - Buff
Nicky Katt - Tim

“- Walter Burns: Sorta wish you hadn't done that, Hildy.
- Hildy Johnson: Done what?
- Walter Burns: Divorced me. Makes a fella lose all faith in himself. Gives him a... almost gives him a feeling he wasn't wanted.
- Hildy Johnson: That's what divorces are for!”
Cary Grant - Walter Burns
Rosalind Russell - Hildy Johnson

“- Reverend Harper: Have you ever tried to persuade him that he wasn't Teddy Roosevelt?
- Martha Brewster: Oh no, he's so happy being Teddy Roosevelt.”

Grant Mitchell - Reverend Harper
Jean Adair - Martha Brewster