“I want you to think of what you ate today. Got it? Now cut that in half, this is called a diet, people, everyone start one today! Darcy, you should stop eating. You see, when you skip a meal, your body feeds off its fat stores. And if you skip enough, maybe your body will eat your ass!”
Ian Roberts - Sparky Polastri

“- Cassie Munro: Maybe we can feed Carl to the raccoon.
- Carl Munro: Maybe we can feed him you, he might be on the south bitch diet.”
Joanna Levesque - Cassie Munro
Josh Hutcherson - Carl Munro

“- Michele Weinberger: Did you lose weight?
- Romy White: Actually, I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented. All I've had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.”
Lisa Kudrow - Michele Weinberger
Mira Sorvino - Romy White

“- Tomika: Why don't you go on a diet?
- Dewey Finn: Because I like to eat! Is that such a crime?”
Maryam Hassan - Tomika
Jack Black - Dewey Finn

“- Marty Rossen: This is good. Have you tried it?
- Walt Price: Oh, like I'm really going to eat carbohydrates.”

David Paymer - Marty Rossen
William H. Macy - Walt Price