Lisa Kudrow quotes
“If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.”
“- Phoebe: Why would you kill his fish?
- Chandler: Because, Phoebe, sometimes after you sleep with someone you have to kill a fish.”
- Lucia DeLury: I mean, "I don't understand sex". I don't get it. Get it? It seems like a lot of trouble for not much. Am I the only one that thinks this?
- Bill Truitt: I don't think you're the tip of an iceberg, frankly.
- Lucia DeLury: I would rather have a backrub, you know. It lasts longer and there's no fluids. You know, what's so great... (continue)(continue reading)
“You know, you really shouldn't let people fill out applications if you don't want them to actually try to get a job here.”
“- Romy White: I've been killing myself for eight days and I gained a pound.
- Michele Weinberger: That's impossible. Did you deduct sixteen pounds for your shoes?”
“I'm the guidance counselor. I should know all the students, especially the ones that dress like prostitutes.”
“- Michele Weinberger: Remember the prom? You got so thin by then.
- Romy White: Oh, I know. I was so lucky getting mono. That was like the best diet ever.”
“- Olive: I could have chlamydia. I have been whoring around a lot.
- Mrs. Griffith: No, honey. No, you haven't. Because a real whore can't even admit it to herself, let alone another person.”
“- Michele Weinberger: To me, fashion is just like... everything.
[looks at a customer looking into a mirror]
- Michele Weinberger: By the way... hi! That blouse looks great on you!
- Irate Customer: Thank you!
- Michele Weinberger: And see? I have this really believable way of telling people they look really good, even though I'm just, you know.”
“- Dr. John Dolittle: How would you like to meet the man of your dreams?
- Ava: You're real cute but I don't go inter-species.”
“- Michele Weinberger: I'm the Mary, and you're the Rhoda.
- Romy White: You're the Rhoda, you're the Jewish one.”
“After centuries of men looking at my tits instead of my eyes and pinching my ass instead of shaking my hand, I now have the divine right to stare at a man's backside with vulgar, cheap appreciation if I want to!”
“- Holly: I left without saying anything. He must think I'm an idiot.
- Denise: Well, you're an American. They expect us to be idiots.”
“- Dede Truitt: God. How does a woman get so bitter?
- Lucia DeLury: Observation.”
“You're probably a blessing in disguise. Fucking good disguise.”
You know, even though we've watched "Pretty Woman" like thirty-six times, I never get tired of making fun of it.
“- Phoebe: I'm going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything?
- Monica: I'll have a latte.
- Ross: I'll have a blueberry muffin, with a decaf.
- Chandler: I'll have a bagel with a little...
- Phoebe: You know, I was just being polite.”
“- Michele Weinberger: Did you lose weight?
- Romy White: Actually, I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented. All I've had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.”
“You look so good with blond hair and black roots its like not even funny.”