Lisa Kudrow quotes
“If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.”
“- Phoebe: Why would you kill his fish?
- Chandler: Because, Phoebe, sometimes after you sleep with someone you have to kill a fish.”
- Lucia DeLury: I mean, "I don't understand sex". I don't get it. Get it? It seems like a lot of trouble for not much. Am I the only one that thinks this?
- Bill Truitt: I don't think you're the tip of an iceberg, frankly.
- Lucia DeLury: I would rather have a backrub, you know. It lasts longer and there's no fluids. You know, what's so great... (continue)(continue reading)
“If it’s a girl, Phoebe. And if it’s a boy, Pheebo.”
“They don’t know that we know they know we know.”
“You know, you really shouldn't let people fill out applications if you don't want them to actually try to get a job here.”
“- Romy White: I've been killing myself for eight days and I gained a pound.
- Michele Weinberger: That's impossible. Did you deduct sixteen pounds for your shoes?”
“I'm the guidance counselor. I should know all the students, especially the ones that dress like prostitutes.”
“- Michele Weinberger: Remember the prom? You got so thin by then.
- Romy White: Oh, I know. I was so lucky getting mono. That was like the best diet ever.”
“- Olive: I could have chlamydia. I have been whoring around a lot.
- Mrs. Griffith: No, honey. No, you haven't. Because a real whore can't even admit it to herself, let alone another person.”
“- Michele Weinberger: To me, fashion is just like... everything.
[looks at a customer looking into a mirror]
- Michele Weinberger: By the way... hi! That blouse looks great on you!
- Irate Customer: Thank you!
- Michele Weinberger: And see? I have this really believable way of telling people they look really good, even though I'm just, you know.”
“- Dr. John Dolittle: How would you like to meet the man of your dreams?
- Ava: You're real cute but I don't go inter-species.”
“- Michele Weinberger: I'm the Mary, and you're the Rhoda.
- Romy White: You're the Rhoda, you're the Jewish one.”
“After centuries of men looking at my tits instead of my eyes and pinching my ass instead of shaking my hand, I now have the divine right to stare at a man's backside with vulgar, cheap appreciation if I want to!”
“- Holly: I left without saying anything. He must think I'm an idiot.
- Denise: Well, you're an American. They expect us to be idiots.”
“- Dede Truitt: God. How does a woman get so bitter?
- Lucia DeLury: Observation.”
“You're probably a blessing in disguise. Fucking good disguise.”
You know, even though we've watched "Pretty Woman" like thirty-six times, I never get tired of making fun of it.
“- Phoebe: I'm going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything?
- Monica: I'll have a latte.
- Ross: I'll have a blueberry muffin, with a decaf.
- Chandler: I'll have a bagel with a little...
- Phoebe: You know, I was just being polite.”
“- Michele Weinberger: Did you lose weight?
- Romy White: Actually, I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented. All I've had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.”