“- Dallas: Do you like pornos?
- Dr. Jarvis: Excuse me?
- Dallas: You know, pornos. Fuck films. Surely, you've heard stories.
- Dr. Jarvis: Yes, I've heard stories, but I've never... I've never really given them that much thought.”
Paulina Porizkova - Dallas
Michael Jeter - Dr. Jarvis

“- Older Porn Actress: They should've done DVDA.
- Joe Young: DVDA?
- Older Porn Actress: Double-vaginal double-anal. It's the only way a woman of my age will get work in this industry. If you don't think that splits me open like a turkey on Thanksgiving...”
Cathy Fitzpatrick - Older Porn Actress
Trey Parker - Joe Young

“- Lisa: How could you have sex with all of those women?
- Joe Young: I didn't it was a stunt cock.
- Lisa: A stunt cock? So you aren't touching all of those women's breasts?
- Joe Young: No they're all just special effects.”
Robyn Lynne Raab - Lisa
Trey Parker - Joe Young

“- Valerie Weston: I'm gonna go home, Steven. That's right. I'm serious. Because of you, I'm gonna get gangbanged, Steven. Gangbanged in Woodland Hills.
- Steven Schats: A lot of great actresses started out in porn.”
Calista Flockhart - Valerie Weston
Matthew Broderick - Steven Schats

“This is just like when I watched myself in a sex tape. There was just a lot of floundering and laughable moments.”
Miranda Hart - Nancy B. Artingstall