“- Lloyd Christmas: Some little filly break your heart?
- Harry Dunne: No, it was a girl.”
Jim Carrey - Lloyd Christmas
Jeff Daniels - Harry Dunne

“You can't ride two horses with one ass.”
Fred Ward - Earl Smooter

“- Skeeter Bronson: Mind showing me your finest horse?
- Chief Running Mouth: My ancestors believed horse spirit come down from mountain, during time of fire, wind. Many brave warrior walk trail of moon bear...
- Skeeter Bronson: Yeah I just wanna see the horse; I don't need all this.”
Adam Sandler - Skeeter Bronson
Rob Schneider - Chief Running Mouth

“- Jay Trotter: Stay on the track!
- Looney: The horse can't hear you!”
Richard Stephen Dreyfuss - Jay Trotter
David Johansen - Looney

“- Marty: Eight's the one, I'd stake my life on it.
- Jay Trotter: They've got a $2 minimum bet.”

Edward Walsh - Marty
Richard Stephen Dreyfuss - Jay Trotter