“I can't shoot ball like Michael Jordan can... but that's alright, though, you know? I'm also gay.”
Bryant L. Crenshaw - Midget

“- Howard Brackett: He's just never had a physical relationship with her.
- Father Tim: Never? In three years?
- Howard Brackett: He respects her.
- Father Tim: He's gay!”

Kevin Kline - Howard Brackett
Joseph Maher - Father Tim

“I'm surprised she didn't give up the sausage and become a vagina-tarian.”
Richard Jenkins - Walter Wingfield

“- Al: How about sex?
- Ed: I'm sorry, Al, but I'm gonna have to pass. And it's not an age thing, 'cause you are still a handsome man.”
Martin Landau - Al
Matthew McConaughey - Ed

- Owen: Wally wants to go to bed with you.
- Margaret: Nobody fucks at the club, everybody's gay! It's you that thinks about fucking all the time.
- Owen: Your vocabulary is punctuated by two words: "shit" and "fuck".
Bob Brady - Owen
Anne Carlisle - Margaret