“It is the height of six American football fields, or five Canadian football fields. As if Canadian football really counts.”

Stanley Anderson - Edwin S. Simon

“- Highway Patrolman: Ah, Americans. Welcome to Ontario, sportsman's paradise!
- Sheriff Bud Boomer: Isn't it though.”
Dan Aykroyd - Highway Patrolman
John Candy - Sheriff Bud Boomer

“Nobody told us there was two America: the real one, United State, and the fake one, Canada. Then, to make matter even worse, there's two Canada: the real one, Ontario, and the fake one, Quebec.”
Paul Sorvino - Gino Barberini

“Don't mind her. She's French-Canadian. Some days she's Canadian. Can be quite pleasant. Today she's obviously French.”

Robert Taylor - Skip Taylor

“- Tim: I have no idea why I'm going to Canada.
- Mort: Naked women, Tim. You love naked women.”
Jason Gedrick - Tim Reese
Josh Charles - Mort Golden