“- Kumar Patel: I'm gonna be honest with you. The only reason I'm applying is so my dad will keep paying for my apartment. I really don't have a desire to go to med school.
- Dr. Willoughby: But you have perfect MCAT scores!
- Kumar Patel: Yeah, just cause you're hung like a moose doesn't mean you gotta do porn.”
Kal Penn - Kumar Patel
Fred Willard - Dr. Willoughby

“- Molly: You don't even care about school.
- Triple A: No, I just don't only care about school.”
Beanie Feldstein - Molly
Molly Gordon - Triple A

“- Jacob Kowalski: Did... Did you say school? Is there a school? A wizardry school here in, uh, America?
- Queenie: Of course. Ilvermorny. It's only the best wizard school in the whole world.
- Newt: I think you'll find the best wizarding school in the world is Hogwarts.”
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski
Alison Sudol - Queenie
Eddie Redmayne - Newt

“I think every kid in America ought to go to school... at least up to the eighth grade.”
Clint Eastwood - Bronco Billy

“It's America, you know what I mean? Find out what it is and put that down on the application for college.”
Vince Vaughn - Fred Claus