Dan Fogler quotes
“- Jacob Kowalski: Are you going somewhere?
- Newt Scamander: No. We're going somewhere.
- Jacob Kowalski: Genius!”
“- Jacob Kowalski: Are you... are you a ghost?
- Nicolas Flamel: No, I'm alive. But I'm an alchemist and therefore immortal.”
“- Charlie: I'm a doctor.
- Stu: He's a heart surgeon. You're a dentist. It's like saying General Patton and Colonel Mustard are both military men.”
“- Jacob Kowalski: You, uh, you know how to read minds?
- Queenie: Oh, don't worry, honey. Most guys think what you was thinking first time they see me.”
“- Jacob Kowalski: Can someone please tell me what this Obscurial... Obscurius thing is? Please?
- Tina: There hasn't been one for centuries.
- Newt: I met one in Sudan three months ago. There used to be more of them, but they still exist. Before wizards went underground when we were still being hunted by Muggles, young wizards and witches...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Newt: People like you, don't they, Mr. Kowalski?
- Jacob Kowalski: Oh. Well, I'm, uh, I'm sure people like you, too, huh?
- Newt: Not really, no. I annoy people.”
“- Newt: I need to get going. Find everyone who's escaped, before they get hurt.
- Jacob Kowalski: Before they get hurt?
- Newt: Yes, Mr. Kowalski. For they're currently in alien terrain surrounded by millions of the most vicious creatures on the planet... Humans.”
“- Newt: Now there's absolutely nothing for you to worry about.
- Jacob Kowalski: Tell me, has anyone ever believed you when you told them not to worry?”
“- Queenie: I'll come with you. We'll go somewhere. We'll go anywhere. See, I ain't never gonna find anyone like you.
- Jacob Kowalski: There's loads like me.
- Queenie: No. No. There's only one like you.”
“- Jacob Kowalski: Newt. I don't think I'm dreaming.
- Newt: What gave it away?
- Jacob Kowalski: I ain't got the brains to make this up.”
“- Queenie: Are all No-Majs like you?
- Jacob Kowalski: No, I'm the only one like me.”
“- Windows: I met her in a Jedi chatroom. The woman is perfect. She's intelligent and acerbic, and a die-hard fan. She's even got connections inside the Lucas camp. You guys are all just jealous because she describes herself as a cross between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Janeane Garafolo.
- Hutch: Tell 'em how you described yourself.
- Windows: I...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Charlie: It's that word, man. Love. I wanted to say it but I just couldn't. How could I say something if I don't feel it?
- Stu: Easy. Lie! What do you think all relationships are based on, man? Lies!”
“What is it that all women want? To get married, raise crib midgets.”
What's the Klingon for "I'm going to die a virgin"?