“Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” quotes

Movie Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Title Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Original title Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
Year 2004
Director Danny Leiner
Genre Comedy, Adventure
Plot – Harold Lee is a bank employee harassed and mistreated by his colleagues, who force him to take care of their work over the weekend. To make matters worse, Harold can never find the courage to introduce himself to his beautiful neighbor Maria, who he is in love with. Instead Kumar Patel, Herold's best friend, does everything he can to avoid life's responsibilities, "sabotaging" all job interviews arranged by his father, who expects him to follow the family career in medicine. During a normal Friday night, Harold and Kumar get stoned and get very hungry when a TV ad for White Castle - a hamburger chain - suggests what might be "the perfect bite." So begins a mad hunt "on the road" for a White Castle fast food eatery to satisfy their ravenous desire.
All actors – John Cho, Ethan Embry, Rob Tinkler, Fred Willard, Kal Penn, Steve Braun, Dan Bochart, Paula Garcés, Mike Sheer, Christopher Thompson, David Krumholtz, Eddie Kaye Thomas
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  • “- Kumar Patel: Excuse me officer. Let me take a couple of guesses. You were probably the big asshole in your high school, right?
    - Officer Martone: Absolutely right.
    - Kumar Patel: Used to pick on guys like us every day, right?
    - Officer Martone: With pleasure.
    - Kumar Patel: Then graduation day came, and we went to college, and you went nowhere...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Brad Borbridge - Officer Martone
  • - Harold Lee: So what are you in here for?
    - Tarik: For being black.
    - Harold Lee: Seriously.
    - Tarik: I am serious. You wanna know what happened? I was walking out of a Barnes & Noble, and a cop stops me. Now evidently, a black guy robbed a store in Newark. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months". So he starts beating me with his... (continue)
    (continue reading)
    John Cho - Harold Lee
    Gary Anthony Williams - Tarik
  • “- Harold Lee: Oh, nice. 16 Candles is on, man.
    - Kumar Patel: And the award for the least heterosexual statement ever made in this apartment goes to... Harold Lee! Come on down, man! Take a bow!”

    John Cho - Harold Lee
    Kal Penn - Kumar Patel
  • “I'm fat, black, can't dance, and I have two gay fathers. People have been messing with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago there's no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.”
    Gary Anthony Williams - Bridget Jones
  • “- Goldstein: Sorry, kids. We ain't goin' nowhere. We're watching The Gift. Supposedly Katie Holmes shows her titties in this movie.
    - Harold Lee: Is that all you Jews ever think about? Tits?
    - Rosenberg: Katie Holmes is a nice, respectable, wholesome girl... and I'm gonna see her boobs.”

    David Krumholtz - Goldstein
    John Cho - Harold Lee
    Eddie Kaye Thomas - Rosenberg
    [Tag:actors, breast, jews]
  • “I want that feeling. The feeling that comes over a man when he gets exactly what he desires. I need that feeling!”
    John Cho - Harold Lee
  • “- Kumar Patel: How were Katie Holmes' tits?
    - Goldstein: You know the Holocaust?
    - Kumar Patel: Yeah?
    - Goldstein: Picture the opposite of that!
    - Kumar Patel: Nice!”

    Kal Penn - Kumar Patel
    David Krumholtz - Goldstein
  • “- Kumar Patel: I'm gonna be honest with you. The only reason I'm applying is so my dad will keep paying for my apartment. I really don't have a desire to go to med school.
    - Dr. Willoughby: But you have perfect MCAT scores!
    - Kumar Patel: Yeah, just cause you're hung like a moose doesn't mean you gotta do porn.”

    Kal Penn - Kumar Patel
    Fred Willard - Dr. Willoughby
  • “Bullets, my only weakness! How did you know?”
    Sandy Jobin-Bevans - Officer Palumbo