“- Enid Keese: Vic, what did you say is in a pile driver?
- Vic: Italian Galliano for passion, Irish Mist for love and Russian vodka for endurance.”

Kathryn Walker - Enid Keese
Dan Aykroyd - Vic

“Say you meet one of these no sparks women, and you really take the time to get to know her and then you become intellectually stimulated by her. You just really enjoy her personality, thereby igniting all your lust and passion. Have you ever thought about that?”

Janeane Garofalo - Abby

“- Ken Miles: Very. Wait a second. What type of girl are you?
- Mollie Miles: The type of girl who likes the smell of wet gasoline.
- Ken Miles: Oh.
- Mollie Miles: Burnt rubber.
- Ken Miles: What are you, some kind of a deviant? Are you?”
Christian Bale - Ken Miles
Caitriona Balfe - Mollie Miles

“Interesting problem in chemistry: sweet wine always turns women sour.”
Sidney Toler - Charlie Chan

“There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.”
Bette Davis - Kit Marlowe