“- Furious Boss: You're a terrible stuntman.
- Rod Kimble: What?
- Furious Boss: You're a terrible stuntman.
- Rod Kimble: What?
- Furious Boss: You're a terrible stuntman!
- Rod Kimble: I'm just kidding. I could hear you. It was just really mean.”
Alvin Sanders - Furious Boss
Andy Samberg - Rod Kimble

“Get lost, Axel. I'm busy. I've had more than enough of you for one night.”
Lisa Freeman - Nurse Morgan

“Do you care anything about basketball? The Knicks are out of the playoffs and I'm not entirely happy about that. The world is full of injustices. They either bother you or they don't. Me, they bother.”
Hermione Gingold - Elizabeth Rennick

“Can you not hit me in the head with a rocket when I'm trying to drive?”

Channing Tatum - Cale

“- Reno Miller: I'm not kidding here. You either tell those cats to keep it quiet, get rid of them, or I'm not paying the rent!
- Al the Landlord: What do you mean you won't pay the rent? Buddy, you don't pay the rent anyway! That's why you bother me all the time, and they don't.”

Abel Ferrara - Reno Miller
Alan Wynroth - Al the Landlord