“Billy, you know, you don't have to be embarrassed if your dick gets hard. Your dick is supposed to get hard. See? That's the whole object of this. Taggart's dick is hard, but he won't let you know 'cause he's the boss. Boss' dick got to stay limp, right? See, I ain't on duty so my dick can be hard.”

Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley

“Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”
Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy

“- Navin: The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!
- Harry Hartounian: Boy, I wish I could get that excited about nothing.
- Navin: Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73: Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book every day!”
Steve Martin - Navin
Jackie Mason - Harry Hartounian

“The most exciting game on the midway! Imagine the thrill of getting your weight guessed by a professional! You can blow up your cheeks, you can stick out your chest, but you're not going to fool the guesser.”
Steve Martin - Navin

“- Heather Mooney: I just figured she'd be married to Sandy by now.
- Romy White: Sandy Frink?
- Heather Mooney: Yes, Sandy Frink! He could barely contain his erection every time she walked by! Why do you think he always carried around that huge notebook?”
Janeane Garofalo - Heather Mooney
Mira Sorvino - Romy White