“- Barry 'Virus' Kremmer: What about Meg?
- Mark 'Dags' D'Agastino: Meg's gay.
- Barry 'Virus' Kremmer: Well, if anyone can change her, it's you.”
Danny Smith - Barry 'Virus' Kremmer
Jeremy Renner - Mark 'Dags' D'Agastino

“- Ennis Del Mar: This is a one-shot thing we got goin' on here.
- Jack Twist: It's nobody's business but ours.
- Ennis Del Mar: You know I ain't queer.
- Jack Twist: Me neither.”
Heath Ledger - Ennis Del Mar
Jake Gyllenhaal - Jack Twist

“- Andrew: That drag queen is amazing, huh Billy? He totally looks like a woman.
- Billy: Ok, I need to know that his penis is large enough to sustain this relationship.”
Christopher Bradley - Andrew
Sean Hayes - Billy Collier

“This affair you're not having - is it not with a man, or not with a woman?”

Kerry Fox - Juliet Miller

“- Zoe: We fit together.
- Zed: All men and women fit together. Even some men fit together.”
Julie Delpy - Zoe
Eric Stoltz - Zed