“Do what is in your heart, Jakie. If you sing and God is not in your voice, your father will know.”
Eugenie Besserer - Sara Rabinowitz

“- Jovie: I can sing, I just choose not to sing. Especially in front of other people.
- Buddy: If you can sing alone, you sing in front of other people. There's no difference.”
Zooey Deschanel - Jovie
Will Ferrell - Buddy

“They say in the land of the blind, the man with one eye is king, well in the land of the skunk the man with half a nose is king!”

Chris Farley - Jimmy

“- Bernie Focker: You kids wanna pick your nose and flick your boogers? Do it!
- Pam Focker: Hey, Bernie!
- Bernie Focker: But do it only when it's dry. Don't do a wet one.”
Dustin Hoffman - Bernie Focker
Teri Polo - Pam Focker

“Junior, when are you ever going to learn the difference between a rock and a nose?”