“I wish you guys would do that with bricks once in a while. That way it would end faster.”

Shane Edelman - Mr. Loud

“There's some kids playing baseball. All I see is the one kid they won't let play because he tells corny jokes. And no-one thinks they're funny.”

Ryan Gosling - Leland P. Fitzgerald

“- Lord Covington: Who gave you permission to be in here?
- Madeline: N-n-nobody, Lord Covington.
- Lord Covington: This is a hospital, it's not a play room. You're not allowed to just wander around.”

Nigel Hawthorne - Lord Covington
Hatty Jones - Madeline

“- Ceil: Abe, have you seen mama's teeth. She left them in a glass of water yesterday, and she can't find them.
- Abe: Kids were playing hockey with them.
- Ceil: They were playing hockey with mama's teeth?
- Abe: Yeah, the're about the same size as a puck.”
Renée Lippin - Ceil
Josh Mostel - Abe

“- Gomez Addams: Children, why do you hate the baby?
- Pugsley Addams: We don't hate him. We just wanna play with him.
- Wednesday Addams: Especially his head.”
Raul Julia - Gomez Addams
Jimmy Workman - Pugsley Addams
Christina Ricci - Wednesday Addams