“- Dorian Montier: I'd like to be the father-to-be.
- Sally Jackson: You can't be the father and the brother! That's the kind of thing that messes kids up!”
Luke Wilson - Dorian Montier
Drew Barrymore - Sally Jackson

“- Rita: I'd like a grandchild. So, shoot me.
- Kate: All right, Ma. Well, you'll be happy to know I'm looking into getting some eggs frozen.
- Rita: Wonderful. I can tell everyone I'm having a grandsicle.”
Olympia Dukakis - Rita
Jennifer Aniston - Kate

“I fell asleep without realizing it. And when I awakened, there were all my relatives speaking in low tones and saying nothing but the kindest things about me. Then I knew I was dead.”

Don Ameche - Henry Van Cleve

“We're not just an uncle and a niece. It's something else. I know you. I know you don't tell people a lot of things. I don't either. I have a feeling that inside you there's something nobody knows about... something secret and wonderful. I'll find it out.”

Teresa Wright - Charlie Newton

“They're two of the dearest, sweetest, kindest, old ladies that ever walked the Earth. They're out of this world. They're like, they're like pressed rose leaves.”

Edward McNamara - Brophy