“- Oda Mae Brown: I know you don't think I'm giving this 4 million dollars to a bunch of nuns!
- Sam Wheat: Think of it this way, you'll go to Heaven.
- Oda Mae Brown: I don't want to go to Heaven, I want to go to the bank and cash a goddamn check!”
Whoopi Goldberg - Oda Mae Brown
Patrick Swayze - Sam Wheat

“- Michael Dunn: If Gram sees you smoking she'll have a heart attack.
- Boo: If she's hears you talking about not being a priest she'll have a stroke.”
Andrew McCarthy - Michael Dunn
Jennifer Dundas - Boo

“- Brother Timothy: Most people can't figure it out. My brother was the one who was supposed to have the vocation. Me, they had me written off as the bum. But here I am, wearing a robe, bouncing a ball off the steps of the rectory.
- Michael Dunn: Was your brother a bum?
- Brother Timothy: Sort of. Sells life insurance down in Maryland.”
John Heard - Brother Timothy
Andrew McCarthy - Michael Dunn

“You knew that whore and you didn't tell anyone. You're a priest, a priest. How's that going to look in the papers.”

Charles Durning - Jack Amsterdam

“- Howard Terke: How about it, Tom? Can you get your brother the monsignor to say a mass for this cunt? It'll make the front page.
- Det. Tom Spellacy: Howard, we don't even know yet whether or not she was a Catholic cunt.”

Dan Hedaya - Howard Terkel
Robert Duvall - Det. Tom Spellacy