“Me and my wife had a great sex life, we use to have sex once a week. but then she died... then it was 3 or 4 times a week.”
Danny Murphy - Mr. Murphy

“Remember, boys! Stay away from women! All they want from you is your man-juice! If you ever get the kind of urges that cannot be supressed by hard liquor, then use this!
[shows his right hand]”
R. Lee Ermey - Coach

“- Judith: Ok, then. No more sex!
- Darren: What?
- Judith: You're not allowed to go down on me for a month!
[Darren is about to speak, but Judith cuts him off]
- Judith: Don't make me take away your masturbation privileges!”
Amanda Peet - Judith
Jason Biggs - Darren

“- Health Clinic Counselor: Now, there are ways of having sex without intercourse. Let's see, there are things like body rubbing or dry humping.
- Andy: You could dry hump.
- Health Clinic Counselor: There's masturbation.
- Andy: Masturbation. Play with yourself.
- Health Clinic Counselor: Mutual masturbation.
- Andy: Play with a friend.”
Nancy Carell - Health Clinic Counselor
Steve Carrell - Andy

- Ilene: What do you miss most about sex?
- Stacy: I miss falling asleep with someone's arms around me. And the feeling of, mm...
- Ilene: Orgasm? I love orgasms.
- Stacy: I'm sick of my "mighty intruder" vibrator with the flexible shaft and the textured head.
Mary Gross - Ilene
Lea Thompson - Stacy