“- Zidler: Remember: a real show, in a real theater, with a real audience. And you'll be...
- Satine: A real actress.”
Jim Broadbent - Harold Zidler
Nicole Kidman - Satine

“- Megan: Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good.
- Graham: Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good.”
Natasha Lyonne - Megan
Clea DuVall - Graham

“- Gwen DeMarco: We shouldn't have to do this! It makes no logicalsense! Why is it here?
- Jason Nesmith: Because it's on the televisionshow.
- Gwen DeMarco: Well, forget it! I'm not doing it! This episode was badly written!”
Sigourney Weaver - Gwen DeMarco
Tim Allen - Jason Nesmith

“Ladies and gentlebugs! Larvae of all stages! Rub your legs together for the world's greatest bug circus!”
David Hyde Pierce - Slim

“It's not like we're hardened criminals here. We're in show business.”
Hank Azaria - Albert Freedman