“- Val: For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.
- Lori: From making love with you?”
Woody Allen - Val
Debra Messing - Lori

“- Cynthia: Promise me something.
- Oz Oseransky: Anything.
- Cynthia: You'll go slow. I haven't made love in five years.
- Oz Oseransky: Neither have I. I've been married.”
Natasha Henstridge - Cynthia
Matthew Perry - Oz Oseransky

“We were married today. We were going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Your brother tries to kill me. A taxi is waiting and now you want to sleep on a window seat. You can take the honeymoon, your wedding ring, your taxi, your window seat, and put them in a barrel and push them all over Niagara Falls!”

Priscilla Lane - Elaine Harper

“- Steven Grlscz: Last time I saw her we had an arguement.
- Sergeant Roche: That must have been quite a row since you didn't make an attempt to see her since then. What was it about?
- Steven Grlscz: She wanted to get married.
- Sergeant Roche: To someone else?
- Steven Grlscz: To me.”

Jude Law - Steven Grlscz
Jack Davenport - Sergeant Roche

“- Nick: I don't know how our marriage lasted.
- Deborah: Mutual death wish.”
Woody Allen - Nick
Bette Midler - Deborah