Bette Midler quotes
“You've fucked with the wrong person! My husband does business with the Mafia! When they track you down, you, your entire family, everyone you ever knew will all get chainsaw enemas!”
“- Barbara: With a cute little rear end like that, you'll be the belle of the ball. Your dance card'll be filled every day. You'll be so popular, making all kinds of new, close friends. Big, ugly, hairy friends! Not that you'll ever see what they look like, 'cause you'll be facing the other way.
- Ken Kessler: You're very good at this. You should...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Cherish forever what makes you unique, 'cuz you're really a yawn if it goes.”
“Si el sexo es un fenómeno tan natural, ¿cómo es que hay tantos libros sobre como hacerlo?”
“My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me.”
“Get back, you brain damaged bag of bones, or I'll have you gassed!”
“You know what the twenties are for? Having sex with all the wrong people. Not to get married.”
“I'm not neurotic, I'm just a bitch.”
“America the land of the fee.”
“- Joanna Eberhart: Bobbie! Bobbie... this isn't you...
- Bobbie Markowitz: That's right! This isn't me, it's a whole new me. I'm happy, and I'm healthy, because I understand what's important in life.”
“- Tito: Hey, hey, hey! There is a lady, Francis.
- Georgette: Well, it's nice to see that one of you has some manners.
- Tito: After you, my little croissant.”
“- Dixie Leonard: You got three daughters. Why don't you give them the benefit of your wisdom?
- Eddie Sparks: Because my wisdom is for a son.”
“What are we ladies? What are we? We are waitresses at the banquet of life! Get into that kitchen and rattle them pots and pans - and you better look pretty good doin' it too, 'else you gonna lose you good thing. And why do we do that, I'll tell you why we do that? We do that to find love - Oh I love to be in love - don't you love to be in love?”
“Dance, dance, dance, until you die!”
“- Doris Saphron: I miss Murray, Harry.
- Harry Zimm: Yeah, I miss him, too. Hell of a good writer, you know. I should know, I discovered him. Made him what he was.
- Doris Saphron: What he was, was a hack. He couldn't get a job writing for anybody but you. I'm being honest. He was a lousywriter, but he was a good husband. I just didn't know...” (continue)(continue reading)
“I don't see how is it that you, my own sister, can stuff your face and nothing happens, and I subsist on 60 calories a day or else blow up like a Macy's Day float!”
“Oh my God, how did I get so fat? I look like a walleyed salmon! What did he use? A wide angle lens?”
“You know, I've always wanted a child. And now I think I'll have one... on toast!”
“Leona, you've gotta stop - you're ruining my career!”
- Dixie Leonard: You're gonna kill him if you fill his head full of this crap!
- Eddie Sparks: Such as what?
- Dixie Leonard: Such as "Don't study", "Everything comes easy", "Life's a big party".
“- Brenda Morelli Cushman: What's wrong?
- Jilted Lover: It's my lover. She left me for this younger woman that weighs twelve pounds.”
“- Georgette: Don't you come any closer! I knew this would happen someday.
- Dodger: Oh, you've barking up the wrong tree, sister. It's not you we're after.
- Georgette: It's not? It's not? Well why not? What's the problem, Spot? Not good enough for you? I mean, do you even know who I am? 56 blue ribbons. 14 regional trophies. Six-time national...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Nick: Am I the kind of guy who loses his temper?
- Deborah: Please! You smashed the mime in the jaw!
- Nick: I gave him 100 bucks...”
“Shut the fuck up. It's Christmastime. I'm gonna sing you a little song.”