“- Schmendrick: Shut up, you pretentious kneecap! How'd you like a punch in the eye?
- Molly Grue: You made it laugh, anyway. Maybe that's all it needs to make it speak.”

Alan Arkin - Schmendrick
Tammy Grimes - Molly Grue

“No one laughs at a master of Quack Fu!”
Chip Zien - Howard T. Duck

“A laughing woman is disarmed, you can do what you like.”
Julien Carette - Marceau, le braconnier

“- Joe Fabrini: l ain't danced in a long time.
- Cassie Hartley: Me neither, and l used to love it. lt's the most fun you can have without laughing.”
George Raft - Joe Fabrini
Ann Sheridan - Cassie Hartley

- "Candy" Johnson: We're gonna play a little game called committing suicide.
- Brazos Hearn: What are the rules?
- "Candy" Johnson: One of us shoots himself.
- Brazos Hearn: And the other?
- "Candy" Johnson: Laughs his sides off.
Clark Gable - "Candy" Johnson
Albert Dekker - Brazos Hearn