“No one laughs at a master of Quack Fu!”
Chip Zien - Howard T. Duck

“- Schmendrick: Shut up, you pretentious kneecap! How'd you like a punch in the eye?
- Molly Grue: You made it laugh, anyway. Maybe that's all it needs to make it speak.”

Alan Arkin - Schmendrick
Tammy Grimes - Molly Grue

“Don't you laugh, damn you! Don't you laugh! I say like yourselves scream in endless and unendurable agony! Their skin rotting and peeling! A fireball spinning in their screaming guts! I know! Oh yes, I know!”
Godfrey Quigley - Prison Chaplain

“- Guy Fleegman: I'm just a glorified extra, Fred. I'm a dead man anyway. If I'm gonna die, I'd rather go out a hero than a coward.
- Fred Kwan: Guy, Guy, maybe you're the plucky comic relief. You ever think about that?
- Guy Fleegman: Plucky?”
Sam Rockwell - Guy Fleegman
Tony Shalhoub - Fred Kwan

“Insert laughhere.”
Steve Van Wormer - Stew Deedle