“- Crawl: Do you believe in the tooth fairy?
- Zack: No.
- Crawl: I wouldn't fall asleep tonight if I were you.
- Zack:Mmmooooommmm!!!!
- Crawl: Sssshhhh! Dude, I was just kidding. Sshhh. Chill”
Pauly Shore - Crawl
Patrick Renna - Zack Warner

“- Heather: Brenda said that you killed your girlfriend.
- King: Yeah, well Brenda says a lot of things. And I believe about... none of them.”
Lara Flynn Boyle - Heather
Dermot Mulroney - King

“- Harmony: Don't say that to her! There is too a Santa, and this is his magic sack!
- Lacy: If that's Santa's sack, why do you have it?”

Noelle Parker - Harmony
Phran Gauci - Lacy

“- Vincent Benedict: Money talks and bullshit walks!
- Julius Benedict: How can bullshit walk?”
Danny DeVito - Vincent Benedict
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Julius Benedict

“- Newton Crosby: Holy shit.
- Number 5: No shit. Where see shit?”
Steve Guttenberg - Newton Crosby
Tim Blaney - Number 5