“My name is Doctor David Q. Dawson, most recently of the Queen's 66th regiment. I had just returned to London after a lenghty service in Afghanistan, and was looking for a place to stay, preferably dry. Little did I know that my life was about to changeforever.”

Val Bettin - Dr. David Q. Dawson

“Nothing has changed, Felix. I'm still a pig, you're still a human vacuum cleaner.”
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison

“- Kate Sullivan: Rumor has it you got balls.
- Lawrence Garfield: I've been trying to show you for weeks.”
Penelope Ann Miller - Kate Sullivan
Danny DeVito - Lawrence Garfield

“- Grant Anderson: Which kind of person are you?
- Marian: I was pretty mad about it. But now... looking at what came my way I think I could be the other kind of person. Quite the philosopher, huh?”
Gordon Pinsent - Grant Anderson
Olympia Dukakis - Marian

“People just need to change the way they look at things.”
Emile Hirsch - Christopher McCandless