“When I told a boyfriend something was ‘no big deal,’ it meant anything from ‘I just bought weed from your nephew,’ to ‘I secretly befriended your ex-girlfriend last year, things got out of hand, and now I’m her bridesmaid.'”
Kristen Bell - Eleanor Shellstrop

“- Dr. Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
- Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
- Dr. Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Dr. Rumack
Julie Hagerty - Elaine Dickinson

I love happy endings. You know, that's the problem with... the American cinema: can't handle any complexity in it, you know? "Don't make me think, I just wanna be entertained".
Ben Stiller - White Goodman

“Here at Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, like baldness or necrophilia, and it's your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.”
Ben Stiller - White Goodman

We started this magazine, "American Bitch". It's a focus on the issues of the lesbian pure bred dog owner.
Jane Lynch - Christy Cummings