“- Assistant Mechanic: Never heard of no one so shit-all stupid as you drivin' off that road. You musta got manure for your brains.
- Clark Griswold: Yeah, well, I'm from out of town.”
John Diehl - Assistant Mechanic
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“When a man gets a hard on, you know where the blood comes from, right? You know where the blood comes from, right? His head and his feet. So, A - he's stupid, and B - he can't run.”
Isaiah Washington - Savon Garrison

“- Phil Davis: All right, they didn't go to college. They didn't go to Smith.
- Bob Wallace: Go to Smith? She couldn't even spell it.”
Danny Kaye - Phil Davis
Bing Crosby - Bob Wallace

“Don't stand there gawping! Like you've never seen the hand o' God before!”
Graham Arthur Chapman - General

“Am I being punk’d? Oh my god! Ashton, you really got me! Ha Ha! Ashton! Ashton?”
Anna Faris - Samantha James