“- Red: I don’t trust them!
- Judge Peckinpah: Your opinion is not needed!
- Leonard: [mocking Red] Is there a doctor around because we have a burn victim here.”
Jason Sudeikis - Red
Keegan-Michael Key - Judge Peckinpah
Bill Hader - Leonard

“I must congratulate you on your virtuoso performance, my boy. Centauri is impressed. I've seen them come, and I've seen them go, but you're the best, my boy. Dazzling! Light years ahead of the competition! Centauri's got a little proposition for you. Are ya interested?”

Robert Preston - Centauri

“- Penny Pingleton: I'm just a little nervous.
- Tammy: This is show business young lady. If you're nervous now. Hah. Wait 'til you're on the air.”
Leslie Ann Powers - Penny Pingleton
Mink Stole - Tammy

“- David Suarez: I don't have to tell you that you performed magnificently.
- Judith Singer: Oh yes you do.
- David Suarez: You performed magnificently.
- Judith Singer: Thank you very much. Now if you'll excuse me - I have to go throw up.”
Raul Julia - David Suarez
Susan Sarandon - Judith Singer

“You didn't land it.”

Ryan Dunn - himself