Sarcasm quotes

“- Allen Gamble: Hey, I didn't know you can dance.
- Terry Hoitz: We used to do those dance moves to make fun of guys when we were kids to show them how queer they were, okay.
- Allen Gamble: You learned to dance like that sarcastically?
- Terry Hoitz: Yeah, I guess.”
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble
Mark Wahlberg - Terry Hoitz

“Love your perfume. What is that, Stench of Death?”

Margot Robbie - Harley Quinn

“- Bruce Banner: Tony, this might not be the time.
- Tony Stark: Really? That's it? You just rollover, show your belly, every time somebody snarls?
- Bruce Banner: Only when I've created a murder bot.”
Mark Ruffalo - Bruce Banner
Robert Downey Jr. - Tony Stark

“- Moly: Oh, no, no guns. You are top-flight unarmed security guards.
- Craig Jones: What about walkie talkies?
- Day-Day: And some flashlights. In case we catch some girl giving up some head right in the back behind the trash cans, I could come back there with the flashlight and catch her.
- Moly: You guys are supposed to be big, tough guys....” (continue)(continue reading)

Maz Jobrani - Moly
Ice Cube - Craig Jones
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“My name is Leon Phelps, and to those of you that are uninitiated, I am an expert in the ways of love. I have made love to many fine ladies from the lowliest bus station skank to the classiest most sophisticated, educated, debutant, high society... bus station skank.”
Tim Meadows - Leon Phelps

“Sarcasm is anger's uglycousin.”
Jack Nicholson - Dr. Buddy Rydell

“- Wolfgang Vogel: You treat us as stooges for the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.
- James Donovan: Can we just call them 'the Russians' and save time?”
Sebastian Koch - Wolfgang Vogel
Tom Hanks - James B. Donovan

“- Ronald Miller: I'm going to a party. John Richmond's, with Cindy Mancini.
- Chuckie Miller: Cindy Mancini? Senior, captain of the cheerleaders, most beautiful girl in the history of this county?
- Ronald Miller: That's her. Well, I'm late, gotta bolt.
- Chuckie Miller: Bolt? Something stinks in suburbia.”
Patrick Dempsey - Ronald Miller
Seth Green - Chuckie Miller

“Okay, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’d rather swim butt-naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple and die a slow agonizing death from a viral infection than work with you.”
Kunal Nayyar - Raj Koothrappali

“I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.”
Jim Parsons - Sheldon Cooper

“I can’t go to jail! I’m too sarcastic for the white gangs!”
Jake Johnson - Nick Miller

“Ross, just for my own peace of mind, you’re not married to any more of us are you?”
Matthew Perry - Chandler Bing

“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.”
Maggie Smith - Violet Crawley

“- Pat Candy: Jane Bodine.
- Jane: Pat.
- Pat Candy: So, what you're doing here? I thought you retired, or gave up or something.
- Jane: What happened to your hair?
- Pat Candy: So you still got a great sense of humor.”
Billy Bob Thornton - Pat Candy
Sandra Bullock - Jane

“- SAS SGT: There's more than 100 terrorists in there!
- Mike Banning: Yeah? Well, they should've brought more men.”
Bryan Larkin - SAS Lieutenant
Gerard Butler - Mike Banning

“- Sage: You know, you have a real anger problem.
- Elle Reid: No, no, I don't. I have an asshole problem. When people are assholes, I get angry.”
Julia Garner - Sage
Lily Tomlin - Elle Reid

“Mediocre, Morsov! Mediocre!”

Josh Helman - Slit

“Did he also make you dress like a slutty dolphin trainer?”

Melissa McCarthy - Susan Cooper

“- Judy Hopps: What is your problem? Does seeing me fail somehow make you feel better about your sad, miserable life?
- Nick Wilde: It does, 100%.”
Ginnifer Goodwin - Judy Hopps
Jason Bateman - Nick Wilde

“So not knowing who we're meeting tonight is gonna make me extra effective. That's okay, I get it. I got shit to do. You'll probably be fine. why don't I go get you a nice dress to be buried in? Dumb ass.”
Melissa McCarthy - Susan Cooper

“- Gordon Bombay: Now here's the long and the short of it: I hate hockey and I don't like kids.
- Peter Mark: What's this supposed to be, a pep talk?
- Gordon Bombay: I'm sure this will be a real bonding experience. One day, maybe one of you will write a book about it in jail.”
Emilio Estevez - Gordon Bombay
J.D. Daniels - Peter

“- Lesley: I'm pathetic. You know, I've dreamt of being a Broadway actress since I was a little kid. And now I'm here. And I'm not a Broadway actress. I'm still just a little kid. And I keep waiting for someone to tell me I made it.
- Laura: [Sincerely] Hey. You made it.
- Lesley: I did?
- Laura: Sadly it was with Mike Shiner, on a fake motel bed.”
Naomi Watts - Lesley
Andrea Riseborough - Laura

“First you lose your girl. Now you're gonna lose your head. You're running out of shit to lose.”

Bruce Willis - Bombay Brian

“- Tony Stark: What's the vibranium for?
- Ultron: [Sarcastic] I'm glad you asked that, because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan...”

Robert Downey Jr. - Tony Stark
James Spader - Ultron

“- Steve Jobs: You didn't have seconds, you had three weeks. The universe was created in a third of that time.
- Andy Hertzfeld: Well, someday you'll have to tell us how you did it.”
Michael Fassbender - Steve Jobs
Michael Stuhlbarg - Andy Hertzfeld