Sarcasm quotes

“- Allen Gamble: Hey, I didn't know you can dance.
- Terry Hoitz: We used to do those dance moves to make fun of guys when we were kids to show them how queer they were, okay.
- Allen Gamble: You learned to dance like that sarcastically?
- Terry Hoitz: Yeah, I guess.”
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble
Mark Wahlberg - Terry Hoitz

“Love your perfume. What is that, Stench of Death?”

Margot Robbie - Harley Quinn

“Sarcasm is anger's uglycousin.”
Jack Nicholson - Dr. Buddy Rydell

“-22: I just use this voice because it annoys people.
-Joe: It’s very effective.”
Jamie Foxx - Joe
Tina Fey - 22

“- Sage: You know, you have a real anger problem.
- Elle Reid: No, no, I don't. I have an asshole problem. When people are assholes, I get angry.”
Julia Garner - Sage
Lily Tomlin - Elle Reid

“Did he also make you dress like a slutty dolphin trainer?”

Melissa McCarthy - Susan Cooper

“- Bruce Banner: Tony, this might not be the time.
- Tony Stark: Really? That's it? You just rollover, show your belly, every time somebody snarls?
- Bruce Banner: Only when I've created a murder bot.”
Mark Ruffalo - Bruce Banner
Robert Downey Jr. - Tony Stark

“Always the same, and now all this. No more stones. No more spears. No more slings. No more swords. No more weapons! No more systems! No more! No more superpowers... So much faith in their tools, in their machines. You can fire your arrows from the Tower of Babel, but you can never strike God!”

Oscar Isaac - Apocalypse

“- Moly: Oh, no, no guns. You are top-flight unarmed security guards.
- Craig Jones: What about walkie talkies?
- Day-Day: And some flashlights. In case we catch some girl giving up some head right in the back behind the trash cans, I could come back there with the flashlight and catch her.
- Moly: You guys are supposed to be big, tough guys....” (continue)(continue reading)

Maz Jobrani - Moly
Ice Cube - Craig Jones
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“- Rusty: Dad?
- Clark Griswold: In a minute Russ.
- Clark Griswold [talking to Cousin Eddie]: You see the promise of material possesions can often blind one to...
- Clark Griswold: [Rusty taps Clark on the arm] What is it, Russ?
- Rusty: Those four cars over there... they're mine.
- Clark Griswold: What do you mean they're... they're yours?
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ethan Embry - Rusty Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Pvt. Trip: I'm from around Tennessee. I ran away when I was 12 years old and I ain't never looked back.
- Pvt. Jupiter Sharts: What ya doin' since then?
- Pvt. Trip: I run for President. [laughter] I didn't win though.”
Denzel Washington - Pvt. Trip
Jihmi Kennedy - Pvt. Jupiter Sharts

“- Peter: I'd be careful with those fat-free chips - they cause anal leakage.
- Roger: You cause anal leakage.
- Peter: It says so on the bag.
- Roger: What kind of marketing braniac puts anal leakage on his product? How can they even sell that crap?”

Thomas Jane - Peter Donahue
Jason Bateman - Roger Donahue

“- Moly: You guys are top-flight security, best in the whole wide world. You have to defend this whole place with your own lives.
- Day-Day: And I'd die for this shit too. ”
Maz Jobrani - Moly
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“My name is Leon Phelps, and to those of you that are uninitiated, I am an expert in the ways of love. I have made love to many fine ladies from the lowliest bus station skank to the classiest most sophisticated, educated, debutant, high society... bus station skank.”
Tim Meadows - Leon Phelps

“- Wolfgang Vogel: You treat us as stooges for the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.
- James Donovan: Can we just call them 'the Russians' and save time?”
Sebastian Koch - Wolfgang Vogel
Tom Hanks - James B. Donovan

“- Ronald Miller: I'm going to a party. John Richmond's, with Cindy Mancini.
- Chuckie Miller: Cindy Mancini? Senior, captain of the cheerleaders, most beautiful girl in the history of this county?
- Ronald Miller: That's her. Well, I'm late, gotta bolt.
- Chuckie Miller: Bolt? Something stinks in suburbia.”
Patrick Dempsey - Ronald Miller
Seth Green - Chuckie Miller

“I can’t go to a badmovie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?”
Jerry Seinfeld - Jerry Seinfeld

“Sardonic humor is just my way of relating to the world.”
Cole Sprouse - Jughead Jones

“Always hard to find, like love, Waldo, a good Chinese restaurant…”
Danny DeVito - Chesterfield

“The only surprise I like is to not be surprised.”
Wallace Shawn - Mr. Woodley

“Okay, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’d rather swim butt-naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple and die a slow agonizing death from a viral infection than work with you.”
Kunal Nayyar - Raj Koothrappali

“I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.”
Jim Parsons - Sheldon Cooper

“I can’t go to jail! I’m too sarcastic for the white gangs!”
Jake Johnson - Nick Miller

“Ross, just for my own peace of mind, you’re not married to any more of us are you?”
Matthew Perry - Chandler Bing

“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.”
Maggie Smith - Violet Crawley