“- Sofia Provolone: Now you fired the maid?
- Angelo 'Snaps' Provolone: No! She quit to marry Bruce Underwood!
- Sofia Provolone: When did that happen?
- Angelo 'Snaps' Provolone: I don't know... somewhere between my vest and my pants.”
Ornella Muti - Sofia Provolone
Sylvester Stallone - Angelo 'Snaps' Provolone

“- Stanley: I got fired today!
- Eugene Morris Jerome: Fired? You mean for good?
- Stanley: You don't get fired temporarily. It's a permanent lifetime firing.”
Brian Drillinger - Stanley
Jonathan Silverman - Eugene Morris Jerome

“- Patience Philips: I'm sorry!
- George Hedare: Sorry? Sorry is not nearly enough!
- Patience Philips: Ok, then lemme try the remix. I'm sorry for every second I wasted working for an untalented, unethical, egomaniac like you!
- George Hedare: Clean out your cubicle. You are fired.”
Halle Berry - Patience Phillips
Lambert Wilson - George Hedare

“- Honey Daniels: I want you to fire 'em. I want you to tell them why you're not using 'em.
- Michael Ellis: What makes you think I care what you want?”

Jessica Alba - Honey Daniels
David Moscow - Michael Ellis

“- Charles 'Chuck' Lane: You're fired, Steve.
- Stephen Glass: What?
- Charles 'Chuck' Lane: You're fired, Steve. You've lost your job.”
Peter Sarsgaard - Charles 'Chuck' Lane
Hayden Christensen - Stephen Glass