“- President Camacho: Now I understand everyone's shit's emotional right now. But I've got a 3 point plan that's going to fix everything.
- Congressman: Break it down, Camacho!
- President Camacho: Number 1: We've got this guy Not Sure. Number 2: He's got a higher IQ than any man alive. And number 3: He's going to fix everything.”
Terry Crews - President Camacho
Christopher M. Campos - Congressman

“Well everybody in Casablanca has problems. Yours may work out.”
Humphrey Bogart - Rick Blaine

“I now see that giddiness is the eighth deadly sin. A giddy girl is every bit as evil as a slothful man, and the noise she makes is a lot worse.”
Julie Walters - Mrs. Kehoe

“- Lee Wilson: Now you have made a mess of things. You know Ford can't sing a note!
- Gene Autry: Don't blame me, blame Collins.”

William Newell - Lee Wilson
Gene Autry - Gene Autry

“- Susie Diamond: Make any resolutions?
- Jack Baker: No, you?
- Susie Diamond: Nah, I figure all that stuff's a bunch of crap, anyway. You do what you do, right?”
Michelle Pfeiffer - Susie Diamond
Jeff Bridges - Jack Baker