- Fiona: Where are your skates? They're part of the uniform.
- Rhonda: Fiona, if I wanted to look like a clown I'd join the circus.
- Fiona: If you were part of my circus I'd have you wiping the elephant butts with a "wet one”.
Jennifer Coolidge - Fiona
Regina King - Rhonda

“Wear a tie for the interview. And promise me you won't torpedo it on purpose, okay?”

Marisa Tomei - Martha Hackett

“- Melissa Robinson: Ace get out of the tank.
- Ace Ventura: I just can't do it captain, I don't have the power!”
Courteney Cox - Melissa Robinson

“I'm watching how ridiculous everyone else looks, and I wonder why they don't realize it. Then I see that in fact, I too look like a fool. Yet it's so much fun that none of us can stop. If we stopped, we'd have nothing.”

Joanna Lumley - Elinor Glyn

“- Oobedoob Benubi: I am Oobedoob Benubi. I have the silliest name in the galaxy.
- Loke Groundrunner: What's your middle-name?
- Oobedoob Benubi: Scooby-Dooby.
- Loke Groundrunner: Oobedoob Scooby-Dooby Benubi?
- Oobedoob Benubi: One and the same.”
Rob Paulsen - Oobedoob Benubi
Steve Oedekerk - Loke Groundrunner