“- Ruth Anne 'Bone' Boatwright: I didn't hear you.
- Glen Waddell: Don't you sass me. Don't you dare sass me. You think just 'cause your aunt died, you can talk to me like that? You're in my house, now. I am the boss of my house. Do you understand that?”

Jena Malone - Ruth Anne 'Bone' Boatwright
Ron Eldard - Glen Waddell

“- Tyler: Douche bag.
- Mary: No 'douche bag' talk in my house!”

C. Thomas Howell - Tyler
Dee Wallace - Mary

Since there's a water scarcity on the island, we kind of abide by the “if it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down” policy.

Dustin Hoffman - Bernie Focker

“- G.P. Myerson: Just call that real estate dame and tell her to rent it out.
- Mrs. Myerson: Yes dear, immediately.
- G.P. Myerson: Tell her no kids, no pets, no democrats.”
Ned Beatty - G.P. Myerson
Anne Haney - Mrs. Myerson

“- Nick Charles: I want to know something about apartment 25C. What I want to know is, how long did Rainbow Benny live in that apartment?
- Greek Janitor: No long. He's move in last night at seven and he's a dead at ten.”
William Powell - Nick Charles
Harry Burns - Greek Janitor