“- Steffi: You always pick the wrong women.
- Joe: Hey, I picked you.
- Steffi: Yeah, I know, we got divorced.”
Goldie Hawn - Steffi
Woody Allen - Joe

“- Sara McDowel: Why didn't you tell me you had just broke up with someone?
- Harris K. Telemacher: How do you know I just broke up with someone?
- Sara McDowel: Because when men just break up with someone, they always run around with someone much too young for them.
- Harris K. Telemacher: She's not so young. She'll be 27 in four years.”
Victoria Tennant - Sara McDowel
Steve Martin - Harris K. Telemacher

“- Earl Bassett: Dammit, Valentine! You never go for any girl unless she fits that stupid list of yours from top to bottom.
- Valentine McKee: Well, sure.
- Earl Bassett: Yeah, and it's dumber than my hind end! Like that Bobbie Lynn Dexter.
- Valentine McKee: Tammy Lynn Baxter!”
Fred Ward - Earl Bassett
Kevin Bacon - Valentine McKee

“- Lord Harry Wrotham: You're insane going with a man like that!
- Joker: Would she be sane staying with a man like you?”

Edward Fox - Lord Harry Wrotham
Gareth Hunt - Joker

“- Amelia Warren: I just keep ingesting these poisonous men until I make myself sick.
- Viktor Navorski: You're not sick, Amelia, no. You're a little far-sighted.”
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Amelia Warren
Tom Hanks - Viktor Navorski