Steve Martin quotes
- From the movie: My Blue Heaven
- From the movie: Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
“All dames are alike: they reach down your throat so they can grab your heart, pull it out and they throw it on the floor, and they step on it with their high heels, they spit on it, shove it in the oven and they cook the shit out of it. Then they slice it into little pieces, slam it on a hunk of toast, and they serve it to you. And they expect...” (continue)(continue reading)
- From the movie: ¡Three Amigos!
“- Lucky Day: Dusty, how do you like your bat?
- Dusty Bottoms: Medium rare.” - From the movie: The Man with Two Brains
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: There it is, darling. Your new home. The House of Hfuhruhurr.
- Dolores: What are those assholes doing on the porch?
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Those aren't assholes. It's pronounced "azaleas". “You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? Me neither.”
- From the movie: The Man with Two Brains
- Anne Uumellmahaye: Michael, you do so much for me, and I do nothing for you.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Are you out of your head? Sorry, I forgot. As far as I'm concerned, you're the most complete woman I've ever known. All my life, I wanted women with great bodies, women who were "Tens". Now, for the first time, I'm aroused by a mind. - From the movie: L.A. Story
“A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true.”
- From the movie: My Blue Heaven
“- Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: You have something against books?
- Hannah Stubbs: I have nothing about books! I am curious about the books in your trunk.
- Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: You see, I was thinking of writing my story, so I bought this one on how to do it.
- Hannah Stubbs: Why do you need 25 copies of it?
- Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli:...” (continue)(continue reading) - From the movie: HouseSitter
“Wow! You're a genius. You're like the Ernest Hemingway of bullshit.”
- From the movie: The Jerk
“The most exciting game on the midway! Imagine the thrill of getting your weight guessed by a professional! You can blow up your cheeks, you can stick out your chest, but you're not going to fool the guesser.”
- From the movie: The Muppet Movie
“- Miss Piggy: You mad, impetuous thing, it's champagne!
- Insolent Waiter: Not exactly. Sparkling Muscatel, one of the finest wines of Idaho.” - From the movie: Planes, Trains & Automobiles
- Neal Page: Let me close this conversation by saying that you are one unique individual.
- Del Griffith: Unique... what's that, Latin for "asshole"? - From the movie: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
“Oh, Lawrence! This is the happiest day of my life! I think my testicles are dropping!”
- From the movie: Roxanne
“I am in orbit around you, I am suspended weightless over you like the blue man in the Chagall, hanging over you in a delirious kiss.”
- From the movie: The Man with Two Brains
“- Dr. Brandon: Dr. Beckerman was murdered in Europe - you know that.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Exactly. Not only is he dead, he's six thousand miles away.” - From the movie: Roxanne
“When you're reaching for a star, there's a long way to fall.”
- From the movie: The Man with Two Brains
- From the movie: Grand Canyon
“Nothing's gonna make it go away, until someone changes something, which is not going to happen. I can't pretend it isn't there because that it is a lie, and when art lies, it becomes worthless.”
- From the movie: My Blue Heaven
“The shoes, right? The shoes are tragic!”
- From the movie: The Pink Panther
- From the movie: The Pink Panther
“- Nicole: Would you like me to stay behind and help you?
- Clouseau: That is a generous offer, Nicole. But I am quite sensitive to office gender politics. And in today's world, the slightest gesture can be misinterpreted as harrasment. And it is late, and I would prefer not to put you or me into that delicate situation.” - From the movie: Roxanne
- From the movie: Bringing Down the House
- Peter Sanderson: I message for you. Howie says “The cool points are out the window and you got me all twisted up in the game”.
- Charlene Morton: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Highlights