“- Thornton Melon: What's your favorite subject?
- Bubbles the Hot Tub Girl: Poetry.
- Thornton Melon: Really? Well, maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow.”
Rodney Dangerfield - Thornton Melon
Becky LeBeau - Bubbles the Hot Tub Girl

“It's you who I want to step to my scene, ‘cause rather the deal with the fallacy... of this dry-ass reality... I'd rather dance and romance your sweet ass in a wet dream. Who am I? Well, they call me Brother to the night. And right now I'm the blues in your left thigh... trying to become the funk in your right. Is that all right?”
Larenz Tate - Darius Lovehall

“- Frank: I knew a girl that looked just like you.
- To-Bel: Really?
- Frank: I wrote a poem about her. Do you want to hear it? Hey, Chocolate Mama, she's got a stomach like a Hershey snare drum, she's got an ass like a nasty heart, beating on the other side, like a dark globe of every place a man could want to go.
- To-Bel: Oh, how you talk.”
Ray Sharkey - Frank
Arnetia Walker - To-Bel

“Roses are red, John's name is Truett. Esther's in love, we always knew it!”
Joan Carroll - Agnes Smith

“- Elizabeth Bennet: I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?
- Mr. Darcy: I thought that poetry was the food of love.
- Elizabeth Bennet: Of a fine stout love, it may. But if it is only a vague inclination I'm convinced one poor sonnet will kill it stone dead.”
Keira Knightley - Elizabeth Bennet
Matthew Macfadyen - Mr. Darcy