“- Monique: You're not his friend you're just using him to scam a little cash off the side. It must feel really good. Oh, but don't worry I'm not going to tell Ed you're cheating him.
- Dexter Reed: Why not?
- Monique: Because it would hurt him too much.”

Shar Jackson - Monique
Kenan Thompson - Dexter Reed

“- Sarah Williams: I don't want to watch you turn into a cog in their machine.
- Fielding Pierce: That's so fucking condescending. Sometimes cogs can make machines run a little but better.
- Sarah Williams: Sometimes yes. Mostly they turn in circles and wear out. Then they get replaced.”
Jennifer Lynn Connelly - Sarah Williams
Billy Crudup - Fielding Pierce

“- Jimmy Dix: You don't like women much do ya Joe?
- Joe Hallenbeck: At least I liked the guy she was fuckin'. He was my best friend.”

Damon Wayans - Jimmy Dix
Bruce Willis - Joe Hallenbeck

“- Jimmy Dix: He was a scumbag private detective.
- Joe Hallenbeck: All private detectives are scumbags.
- Jimmy Dix: That scumbag tried to get you killed.
- Joe Hallenbeck: Friends can't be perfect.”

Damon Wayans - Jimmy Dix
Bruce Willis - Joe Hallenbeck

“- Kermit the Frog: Piggy! Have you been spying on me?
- Miss Piggy: Maybe spying on vous and that certain young girl of the opposite gender.
- Roller Skater: You two-timing her?
- Kermit the Frog: No that's just Jenny. She's a friend. She's a friend and she's been trying to help me sell the show.
- Miss Piggy: Ha!”
Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog
Frank Oz - Miss Piggy
Gregory Hines - Roller Skater