“- Matt: Isn't part of the priestly thing giving relationship advice?
- John: Relationship advice, yes - sex advice, no. Part of the priestly thing is not to have sex, remember?
- Matt: It's funny. I didn't say a thing about sex. I guess thinking about sex is part of the priestly thing, at least for some.”
Josh Hartnett - Matt
Adam Trese - John

“If you wanna smear mud on your ass, smear mud on your ass - just be honest about it. Look, Gene, I've never told anyone this before, but I can suck my own dick, and I do it a lot.”

H. Jon Benjamin - Can of vegetables

“I wasn't suggesting that the two of you get married, I just thought maybe you could get it on!”
Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters

“- Tristan: Samuel, God bless you. You are good at everything you try to do. I'm sure it'll be the same with fucking.
- Samuel: Tristan, really. We're talking about my future wife.
- Tristan: Oh, you're not gonna fuck her?
- Samuel: No!
- Tristan: No?
- Samuel: No! I'm planning to be with her.
- Tristan: I recommend fucking.”
Brad Pitt - Tristan Ludlow
Henry Thomas - Samuel Ludlow

“Remember, boys! Stay away from women! All they want from you is your man-juice! If you ever get the kind of urges that cannot be supressed by hard liquor, then use this!
[shows his right hand]”
R. Lee Ermey - Coach