“If you wanna smear mud on your ass, smear mud on your ass - just be honest about it. Look, Gene, I've never told anyone this before, but I can suck my own dick, and I do it a lot.”

H. Jon Benjamin - Can of vegetables

“Remember, boys! Stay away from women! All they want from you is your man-juice! If you ever get the kind of urges that cannot be supressed by hard liquor, then use this!
[shows his right hand]”
R. Lee Ermey - Coach

“I don't blame you. When I was your age, I was knocking them off left and right; but I never did it with nobody's daughter. You should have given her an ankle bracelet and stuck to jerking off!”

Dolph Sweet - Chubby Galasso

“- Giles: Oh! God, to be young and beautiful. If I could go back to when I was 18 - I didn't know anything about anything - I'd give myself a bit of advice.
- Elisa: [in sign language] What would you say?
- Giles: I would say: Take better care of your teeth and fuck, a lot more.”
Richard Jenkins - Giles
Sally Hawkins - Elisa Esposito

“I wasn't suggesting that the two of you get married, I just thought maybe you could get it on!”
Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters