“- Ennis Del Mar: This is a one-shot thing we got goin' on here.
- Jack Twist: It's nobody's business but ours.
- Ennis Del Mar: You know I ain't queer.
- Jack Twist: Me neither.”
Heath Ledger - Ennis Del Mar
Jake Gyllenhaal - Jack Twist

“- Isaac: I think that, under my personal vibrations, I could put her life in some kind of good order.
- Yale: Yeah, that's what you said about Jill, and under your personal vibrations she went from bisexuality to homosexuality.
- Isaac: Yeah, but I gave her the old college try.”
Woody Allen - Isaac
Michael Murphy - Yale

“- Andrew: That drag queen is amazing, huh Billy? He totally looks like a woman.
- Billy: Ok, I need to know that his penis is large enough to sustain this relationship.”
Christopher Bradley - Andrew
Sean Hayes - Billy Collier

“This affair you're not having - is it not with a man, or not with a woman?”

Kerry Fox - Juliet Miller

“- Howard Brackett: He's just never had a physical relationship with her.
- Father Tim: Never? In three years?
- Howard Brackett: He respects her.
- Father Tim: He's gay!”

Kevin Kline - Howard Brackett
Joseph Maher - Father Tim