“- Phil: You're not really wearing that are you?
- Alan: Wearing what?
- Phil: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that or are you guys just fuckin' with me?
- Alan: It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.”
Bradley Cooper - Phil
Zach Galifianakis - Alan

“- Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: Maybe we are tailors. We travel from town to town, tailoring dresses, for circus midgets.
- Harry Sawyer: Traveling midget tailors?
- Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: Yeah, ya think?
- Harry Sawyer: No.”
Steve Zahn - Wayne
Jeremy Northam - Harry

“- Toby: Japanese people kill for old Nikes.
- Bree: Then you probably should avoid wearing them in Japan.
- Toby: I'd probably be disemboweled by a ninja.”
Kevin Zegers - Toby
Felicity Huffman - Bree

“Can't trust a woman in a pants suit. Men wear the pants. The world doesn't need anymore Hillary Clintons.”
Chris Cooper - Robert Hanssen

“Geisha needs an elegant wardrobe, just like an artists needs ink. If she is not properly dressed, than she is not a true geisha.”
Tsai Chin - Auntie