“- Miles Logan: Put your hands on the Oodles of Noodles.
- Tulley: Chicken or beef?
- Miles Logan: Chicken. Cool. Cool is good.
- Tulley: Miles?
- Miles Logan: Tulley? What are you doing?
- Tulley: I'm freaking working over here.”
Martin Lawrence - Miles Logan
Dave Chappelle - Tulley

“- Mrs. Judd: You can't work on an empty stomach.
- William Schwenck Gilbert: I can't work at all, Mrs. Judd, if I'm being constantly pestered by interfering women with hot beef tea, cold compresses, mustard poultices, and excessive attacks of philanthropic zeal.”
Kate Doherty - Mrs. Judd
Jim Broadbent - William Schwenck Gilbert

“- Miss Hannigan: What are you just standing around here for? You're supposed to clean the bathroom and the kitchen before lunch, my little pig droppings, and if you skip the corners, there will be no lunch. And we're not having hot mush today.
- Orphans: Yay!
- Miss Hannigan: We're having cold mush!”

Carol Burnett - Miss Hannigan

“Father had just one reason for ever starting this unfortunate enterprise: vanity.”

Mary Field - Miss Totten

“Success in business is fifty per cent hard work and fifty per cent the right cigar.”
Melvyn Douglas - Larry Baker