All actors – Allan Corduner, Dexter Fletcher, Sukie Smith, Roger Heathcott, Wendy Nottingham, Stefan Bednarczyk, Geoffrey Hutchings, Timothy Spall, Francis Lee, William Neenan, Adam Searle, Martin Savageshow all
“Topsy-Turvy” Quotes 23 quotes
“There's something inherently disappointing about success.”
“- William Schwenck Gilbert: Every theatrical performance is a contrivance by its very nature.
- Arthur Sullivan: Yes, but this piece consists entirely of an artificial and implausible situation.
- William Schwenck Gilbert: If you wish to write a grand opera about a prostitute, dying of consumption in a garret, I suggest you contact Mr. Ibsen in...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Jessie Bond: It's shapeless.
- Madame Leon: Yes, Miss Bond, it is shapeless. Japanese ladies are most shapeless.”
- Fanny Ronalds: Lady Colin is endeavoring to persuade us to take up smoking. She's writing an article for the "Saturday Review". She proposes that nicotine is a gift from the gods, and if men may benefit from its soothing qualities, why then may women not also? My poor daughter now believes that smoking is an extension of the... communion... (continue)(continue reading)
“- Fanny Ronalds: Lady Colin is irresistible. She cannot conceive why the Irish are starving when there's lots of good fish in the sea.
- Arthur Sullivan: She most probably has a point.”
“- Arthur Sullivan: May I remind you, Helen, that I am not a machine.
- Helen Lenoir: I would not suggest for one moment that you were.
- Arthur Sullivan: You all seem to be treating me as a barrel-organ. You have but to turn my handle, and hey presto! Out pops a tune.”
“- William Schwenck Gilbert: No, sir. I can assure you, papa, that the very last person with whom I wish to have any communication at all is your estranged wife, the vicious woman who bore me into this ridiculous world.
- Gilbert's Father: How dare you, sir? Have you no respect?
- William Schwenck Gilbert: Don't misunderstand me, father. Nobody...” (continue)(continue reading)
“One should be rewarded on one's merits, not on one's ability to ingratiate oneself with the management. Particularly when the management have difficulty in locating the relative whereabouts of the arse and the elbow.”
“- William Schwenck Gilbert: The traditional Japanese posture adopted by well-meaning, but misguided, underlings upon the departure of their august superiors.
- George Grossmith: Would that be a recognised Japanese attitude, sir?
- William Schwenck Gilbert: Not as yet, Grossmith, but I have every confidence that it shall become one.”
“Madam, I rather spend an afternoon in a Turkish bath with my mother than visit the dratted dentist.”
“Mr. Gilbert, I am a respectably married man and I love my wife dearly. Now, one of the few pleasures that she has enjoyed since the untimely demise of my beloved mother-in-law is to watch me perform upon the stage. But, I am not prepared to allow her to suffer the embarrassment of seeing me flaunted before the public like a half-dressed,...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Mrs. Judd: You can't work on an empty stomach.
- William Schwenck Gilbert: I can't work at all, Mrs. Judd, if I'm being constantly pestered by interfering women with hot beef tea, cold compresses, mustard poultices, and excessive attacks of philanthropic zeal.”
“- Arthur Sullivan: This work with Gilbert is quite simply killing me.
- Richard D'Oyly Carte: Working with Gilbert would kill anybody.”
“- William Schwenck Gilbert: Barker, what are you doing? Do you propose to join in?
- Richard Barker: My dancing days are long over, Mr. Gilbert.
- William Schwenck Gilbert: Over, Barker, but not forgotten.”
“- Gilbert's Father: She is a veritable gorgon.
- William Schwenck Gilbert: She is indeed, and she has chosen her own path, and in so doing, she has turned her back on yourself and myself. And for that small mercy we should both of us be eternally grateful.”
“You have my sympathies, Lely. Unfortunately, your avocation as an actor compels you, on occasion, to endure the most ignominious indignities, to which Grossmith will doubtless testify.”
“I don't know about you, but speaking for myself, I could murder a pork chop.”
- Richard D'Oyly Carte: The Savoy Hotel.
- Arthur Sullivan: With its seventy bathrooms.
- Richard D'Oyly Carte: The builder was much bemused. "What's the point of having a bathroom to every bedroom? Who's going to be staying there, amphibians?".
“I am indeed beautiful. Sometimes I sit and wonder, in my artless Japanese way, why it is that I am so much more attractive than anybody else in the whole world. Can this be vanity? No! Nature is lovely, and rejoices in her loveliness. I am a child of Nature, and take after my mother.”