“- Barry Corman: You two clowns leave while I get into character.
- Michael Chapman: What character, all you got to do is swallow.”
David Krumholtz - Barry Corman
Michael J. Fox - Michael Chapman

“- Cop: Who do you like better, Picard or Kirk?
- Nick: There's no question about it. Kirk.
- Cop: You bet! You gotta respect a guy who can fuck a green bitch and destroy a whole civilization, all in 60 minutes.”

Paulina Porizkova - Cop
Aaron Eckhart - Nick

“That script of yours has all the right elements. I mean it's got good characters and a terrific story. I don't know if you agree with me but I think story is the most important element of a script.”
Martin Landau - Jack Roth

“Dad was a card. I never met him. He died before the movie began.”
Jeff Daniels - Tom Baxter

“- Isaac: It's an interesting group of people, your friends are.
- Mary: I know.
- Isaac: Like the cast of a Fellini movie.”
Woody Allen - Isaac
Diane Keaton - Mary