“- Harp: Last time I saw you drink straight vodka was 'cause you just cheated on Cory.
- Jimmy Dix: Why don't you pour me another?
- Harp: You didn't? You gotta be crazy, partner, cheatin' on her.
- Jimmy Dix: I gotta be somethin', Harp. 'Cause nowadays all I do is lose friends, drink, and nail anything with a heartbeat.”
Ryan Cutrona - Harp
Damon Wayans - Jimmy Dix

“Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.”
Will Smith - Hitch

“Jean was never in love with you. She went hook, line and sinker for that Lloyd guy the minute she saw him. And she's been seeing him every time your back was turned.”

Gladys George - Panama Smith

“If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.”
W.C. Fields - Cuthbert J. Twillie

“- Martha Phelps: I'm afraid after we're married awhile, a beautiful young girl will come along and you'll forget all about me.
- Wolf J. Flywheel: Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.”
Margaret Dumont - Martha Phelps
Groucho Marx - Wolf J. Flywheel