“Most of these young girls today don't know their cooch from a hole in the wall. See, that's why I dress... and rest, cause love don't live here anymore.”
Tyra Ferrell - Jessie

“Jamie doesn't date nice guys. She puts them in the friendzone and tortures the shit out of them.”
Ryan Reynolds - Chris Brander

“Now listen to me, you two. I want you to understand just one thing. If you ever expect to get anything out of me, you're going to be human enough and decent enough to take Shirley into this house to live. I'll pay for her board and her clothes.”

Charles Sellon - Uncle Ned Smith

“Oh, fate... the last refuge of the truly desperate!”
Gretchen Mol - Anna

“Desperate ducks commit desperate acts!”
Chip Zien - Howard T. Duck