“- Walter: Is it okay if I go inside and watch television?
- Garth: Ain't got one.
- Walter: No television?”
Haley Joel Osment - Walter
Sir Michael Caine - Garth

“- Nick Charles: I want to know something about apartment 25C. What I want to know is, how long did Rainbow Benny live in that apartment?
- Greek Janitor: No long. He's move in last night at seven and he's a dead at ten.”
William Powell - Nick Charles
Harry Burns - Greek Janitor

“- Lillian - the Housekeeper: I'm the housekeeper!
- Bob: Fine way to keep house. Women screaming. Bogeymen jumping out of windows. If I had a house like this, I wouldn't want to keep it.”
Rafaela Ottiano - Lillian - the Housekeeper
Dennis O'Keefe - Bob

“- Louis Stevens: I got a roof over my head. That's all I need right now.
- Silverio: I'll tell you what. You come work for me and train my guys, and I'll give you a roof over your head like you wouldn't believe.”
Mark Dacascos - Louis Stevens
Paco Christian Prieto - Silverio

“- Audrey: All I ever wanted was you and a sweet little house.
- Seymour Krelborn: Oh Audrey, you're the most wondeful person that ever lived. We're gonna get that little house and everything's gonna be alright.”
Ellen Greene - Audrey
Rick Moranis - Seymour Krelborn