“- Edith: What have I ever done to you?
- Dewey Cox: Like that time you woke up in the middle of the night and drank up all the milk! And then I got up to have my corn flakes and there was none left!
- Edith: Dewey, you cheated on me!
- Dewey Cox: Oh, so I'm a cheater, but you can just drink up all the milk.”
Kristen Wiig - Edith
John C. Reilly - Dewey Cox

“Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.”
Will Smith - Hitch

“Jean was never in love with you. She went hook, line and sinker for that Lloyd guy the minute she saw him. And she's been seeing him every time your back was turned.”

Gladys George - Panama Smith

“If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.”
W.C. Fields - Cuthbert J. Twillie

“- Martha Phelps: I'm afraid after we're married awhile, a beautiful young girl will come along and you'll forget all about me.
- Wolf J. Flywheel: Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.”
Margaret Dumont - Martha Phelps
Groucho Marx - Wolf J. Flywheel