“- Scott Calvin: Yeah, well, look at my hair. It's turning grey.
- Dr. Novos: Oh, it's middle age, buddy. It happens. And with that body, you should be thankful you have hair. Look, if it bothers you, you can dye it - and you should diet!”
Tim Allen - Scott Calvin
Steve Vinovich - Dr. Novos

“I had no idea things were so hairy in Bosnia.”

Matthew Perry - Oscar Novak

“- Jay: Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to fuckin' rock this shit!
- Jonah: What the fuck, man? If I go in there and see fuckin' pubes sprinkled on the toilet seat, I'm gonna fuckin' lose my mind!”
Jay Baruchel - Jay
Jonah Hill - Jonah

“- Maxwell Smart: Well, you were no help at all.
- Agent 99: How could I help? I'm just a woman with a dusty old uterus.
- Maxwell Smart: I never said dusty.”
Steve Carrell - Maxwell Smart
Anne Hathaway - Agent 99

“- Tracy: Do you think she's had work?
- Sally: Why would she have had work? She still looks gorgeous.
- Tracy: Well, that's when they're having it now, before it all turns to shit.”
Kate Burton - Tracy
Margaret Colin - Sally